I’ve  been out of touch online because of my call schedule, but have managed today to catch up on my favorite blogs and news website reading.

This essay by a medical student on empathy caught my eye.  It seemed to capture an aspect of the transition I’ve made becoming an MD which I faced in full force while on call yesterday. Yesterday was my busiest day thus far and in general probably what would be considered to be a super busy call for my program’s standards…  Even though I was stationed in the CPEP (aka Psych ED) I spent at least 11 of my 13 hours shift walking from floor to floor, seeing patients, writing notes, putting orders in the ’system’ and consulting staff.  Thank god my chief resident was a phone call away, his calm voice and sound advice kept me sane.

This article reminded me of the missed luxury I had as a medical student spending time with patients.  On days like yesterday, I learned I could not even afford short chats with staff whom I grew to like so quickly.  While chatting with a security guard which only got as far as mentioning his attendance at John Jay and 3 children, a patient charged me.  I quickly noticed taking time was not possible, being social was not permissible, I was just being paged so frequently.  It didnt feel like I was being me.  I made it through the day, but it took a toll on me.  If this state of mind was repeated regularly, I could see how it would would lead a person to become less empathetic.

Today I ran into my former Yoga teacher, a wise monastic yogi and revered teacher in the community.  I shared this story.  It was a small gift to have him listen.  His wisdom and compassion helped me slow down a few more notches beyond what I already achieved since leaving the hospital last night.  I left the conversation thinking, how can I prevent that from happening again?